Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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