we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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