Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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