I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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