Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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