STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
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Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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