I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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