Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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  (424): I'd wear matching sweaters with you http://tfl.nu/xbhf
  Replies (3) Good night (1873) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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  (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/5lx0
  Replies (34) Good night (1954) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.

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  (917): I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee. http://tfl.nu/d6kz
  Replies (15) Good night (986) Bad night (4404) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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  (816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur
  Replies (16) Good night (8738) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME

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  (914): Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME http://tfl.nu/u7n7
  Replies (16) Good night (3924) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.

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  (361): Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am. http://tfl.nu/g88o
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (2153) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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  (918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy
  Replies (2) Good night (1898) Bad night (569)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?

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  (636): Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown? http://tfl.nu/ay3b
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)

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  (206): Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :) http://tfl.nu/j8zz
  Replies (20) Good night (3733) Bad night (563)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.

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  (978): I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed. http://tfl.nu/ypwz
  Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (2085) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...

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  (972): Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch... http://tfl.nu/v5jz
  Replies (11) Good night (823) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

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  (732): I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/793g
  Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Be safe. And I hate you.

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  (404): Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND! (1-404): Be safe. And I hate you. http://tfl.nu/32xo
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (192)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (149) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt

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