And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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