The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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