he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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