well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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