Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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