I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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