so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize