Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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