this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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