i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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