Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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