you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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