Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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