dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize