I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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