I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize