Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
