good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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