Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this beer tastes like vomit already
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize