i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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