It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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