six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize