found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize