The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize