after a month anything with tits is on the radar
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we should paint friendship bongs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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