Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize