addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i would punch a child for taco bell
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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