I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize