I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize