Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When did angry sex become our thing?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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