i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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