When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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