And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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