it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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