Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
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Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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