I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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