one might say we're banned from that church
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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