shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's never too late to be topless.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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