So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I die, sorry about rent.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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