I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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