in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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