you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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