You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize